Thursday, June 17, 2010

Complimentary Cup of Tea, Coffee or Hot Chocolate While Reading "Cross Stitch Horrors"

Project: Complimentary Cup of Tea, Coffee or Hot Chocolate

Type of needlework: Mixed media

Photo: 1

Comments: After tracing the drawing, I painted the saucer and the cup with watercolor paint and stitched the outline.

I thought this little design was just the thing for when I have something fun and/or interesting for you to read. What could be better than to put our feet up in a comfortable chair holding a good cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate and just relax for a few minutes.

Enjoy the following!



Today I joined a cross stitch class
And though it may sound dumb
Where once my fingers used to be
I now possessed a thumb

I couldn't thread the needle
And this creates a "hitch"
For without a threaded needle
You can't create a stitch

The instructor had to thread it
Amd though it sounds kind hearted
She muttered lots of muffled words
And hastily departed

She showed us how to make a stitch
And where we should begin
But the first stitch ended painfully
Beneath my tender skin

Well, I've never been heroic
And I believe one lady said
The screams that issued from my mouth
Would surely wake the dead

The class was in an uproar
As they crammed to take a peek
For my face was now a deathly white
And my legs were feeling weak

My finger was in tatters
I tried hard not to cry
But the gash looked like a canyon
There was a good chance that I'd die

The teacher yelled impatiently
What she said I'll never know
For I fainted in an instant
When the blood began to flow

The teacher phoned the ambulance
For the wound was very deep
But she said the blood-drenched patterns
Could now be mine to keep

As they placed me in the ambulance
She let out such a shriek
When I tried to reassure her
That I'd be back next week!


(I unfortunately do not know who is the author of this,
but I just found it so funny and posted on my blog so that I could read it from time to time
when I needed a good hearty laugh)